I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
