my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
