I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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