She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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