A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize