I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
