my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
that's an acceptable place to lick
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Randomize
