We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize