this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This is my gift to your gina
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
