At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i out mim tonsoeep
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