it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
