In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
