If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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