I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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