I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize