the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize