Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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