my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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