Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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