Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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