I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
