Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
