Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
