we have officially lost it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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