Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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