can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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