I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize