he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize