The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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