Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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