found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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