Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
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He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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