Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize