I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
