loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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