Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
