She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
