Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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