A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
