She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
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Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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