Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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