Me. At least after what I've been through.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
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Some one left their pants in the elevator.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
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I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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