so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The feeling are messing with the penis
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
