He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
