I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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