I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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