pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
