How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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