you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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