I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i think my cat just said my name.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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