We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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