I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.