For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am