I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA