the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!