and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
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so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?