i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.