I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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