hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
