do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
