I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
