11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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