There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
