another moral hangover. fuck.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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