Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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